March 28th is a day that I will never forget. It is not a day to be celebrated. It is not a day to wallow. It is, simply put, a day that will be forever ingrained into my memory.
March 28th was the day I was given my cancer diagnosis.
My very first post on this blog was a narration of this day, you can find it here.
I still feel the pain; it cut through me violently and quick. I can close my eyes and still visualize exactly my surroundings; it was a beautiful, March day. The sun was out and I remember it shining brightly into our living room, spilling onto the couch where I sat with my sister. I remember I answered my phone & I was annoyed with the light in my eyes, wishing we had blinds for our huge window in the entry way. I remember I was doodling on my planner, swirls and stars, as the doctor made small talk, wondering how long this conversation was going to take.
If I could go back to that couch on that bright, sunny day, I would shake Kaylee. I would slap her for thinking a rapidly growing tumor on her small intestine wasn’t something concerning. Maybe the pain wouldn’t have been as bad. Maybe dealing with the next steps would have been easier. Maybe…
But that was two years ago, the past; I am looking forward. The truth is, in two years I have come a long ways. After each new day passes, I am getting better. I’m accepting my new path, with all it’s twists and turns, much better than I did two years ago. I have learned more about myself, my marriage, my friendships, & my career then I ever thought I would.
I have found myself more excited for experiences with Tony, more engaged with my friends & their future plans – to buy or to rent, how to remodel a basement, what puppy treats work best, first steps & words of their little ones, etc… – & okay not knowing what tomorrow will bring.
Cheers…. to the next year of fighting & surviving!
You are an inspiration!! Love you!!
Your positivity is encouraging. My one year for being cancer free is coming up and I’ve been very anxious about it. This post is encouraging and I’m glad you are here to write about your journey and encourage people, like myself, to go on living. Thank you.
Thank you so much for your kind words 🙂 Believe me, I have my dark days, as well, but it definitely helps to know there are others {like you!} out there in the same boat. We need to encourage and lean on one another! The year marks always make me anxious – but like my husband tells me, where is all the worry and anxious-ness getting me? 😉 It’s easier to be positive, it takes longer to pull it back together otherwise! Thanks for stopping by!
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