All of a sudden we have such big kids.
I find myself looking and clinging for anything and everything that will keep them little, just a tiny bit longer.
Like sinking into every baby hug from Ames. [The definition of a baby hug: when you pick up a little human and they tuck their little arms under their tummy, lean against your chest, while laying their head on your shoulder]. I get one every morning and at the end of every nap. I look forward to it everyday. I get tears thinking about the day they will just, stop.
Because that’s what happens, right?
Your babies, all of a sudden, are just not babies.
We have a four and an almost three year old, and as long as some of the days feel, time has gone by in a blink of an eye. & I think the hardest part for me is that I’m fully aware! I’m fully aware that I’m in the good ol days. The days that I know I will long for in the future. The days that I’m the everything; I’m needed; and I’m home to the two of them.
So, here I will be, documenting the good old days. Because I need these moments to live somewhere forever.
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As I heard Ames’s little pitter-patter climbing up the stairs this morning, my mama heart starting to fill. I knew exactly what would happen; every day, when he gets to the top of stairs & peeks down the hall. He knows if we’re still in bed, it’s a ‘stay home day’ and if we’re not, it’s a day for school.
And sure enough, I was standing in our doorway, and I saw his little blue eyes.
“Good Morning, Sweetheart” [always my morning greeting].
His little feet shuffle slowly towards me, but his head is down. He can never hide his disappointment when he can’t climb into our bed and cuddle.
Ames is always our quiet one in the morning; and doesn’t chit-chat until he wakes up a bit. He reaches up for me to pick him up for his morning hug, and I do without hesitation. As I feel him tuck his little hands under his belly, and his breath slow, I am butter, melting into his little heartbeat on mine, like a hot summer day.
I am never the one to end our hugs. I hold him as long as he’ll let me, rubbing his back, asking if he slept well, & what he dreamed about. [His usual dream answer is my Daddy].
When he lifts his head and points to the window in our bathroom, our hug ends. I walk into our bathroom and he wiggles his little legs to get down and stand on our window ledge. He loves to check out the lake, listen to the birds, and tell me about anything and everything he sees so early in the morning. Most of the time we talk about Mr. Sun, and whether he’s still sleeping or if he’s waking up for the day.
“Mom! A duck!”
I look out the window next to him, and sure enough, a little mallard was swimming up to our beach.
“Wow, he’s swimming so early this morning!”
As I start my morning routine; contacts in, face-washing, etc…, I start to hear a little song….
Five little ducks went out one day,
Over the hill and far away,
Mother Duck said ‘QUACK, QUACK, QUACK QUACK’
& Only four little ducks came back.
His little hand moved to the song gestures, five little fingers began the song, dancing, his hand rolled up and down over the hills, Mother Duck’s little quacking beak was my favorite, and ended with one less little finger dancing and a smile towards his mama.
I sat and listened. I sang along when he allowed. And I took in this special, little morning song with my sweet, sunshine boy, all the while thinking, please, stay this little forever.
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xo,
