Happy Friday!
Currently, the waves are breaking on our beach, with a gentle humming of back and fourth, back and fourth. Since living on the lake, I think the sounds of water has grown to be my favorite, most relaxing sound.
The wind, running its breath through the willow, is a very close second. There’s something about a willow tree’s branches that memorize me. The way each branch dances as the wind pushed and pulls it, is so beautiful.
Soaking in these moments reminds how lucky I am that I’m able to sit on our deck and listen to these sounds as I work during the day. I’ll even take the random, club-pumping music I’ll hear from a wakeboarding boat driving by once and while 🙂
Recently, I was given some sweet words of advice by a dear friend. We had been at a friend’s wedding and as we were catching up on all the life things, he asked me, “so, why did you stop writing?”
It caught me so off-guard, I think I ended up just staring at him, because I wasn’t sure I heard him right.
“What do you mean, why’d I stop?” I had responded, but then followed it up with a quiet, “I don’t think I have much to say anymore.”
I think we were both surprised by my honest, and vulnerable, response.
“Well, I really enjoyed reading your posts, and think you still have a lot to say. Talk about remission, write the story you just told me about Ames, because that is funny! I still want to read it.”
It was the sweetest, most genuine thing I’ve been told in a long time.
Such a simple words, that left such a big impact.
I have SUCH a love and passion for writing. I miss it. My fingers ache to write on notebook paper, (I was an avid journal-er & story writer growing up) or to type since I started this blog. Like I said in one of my other most recent posts, I’m extremely intimidated with the social media/influencer/blogger world that constantly surrounds us in today’s world. So much so, that it stops me from doing one the things that I love most.
In becoming a mother, it’s so hard not to lose yourself. At least for me, it’s been hard. I want to give every piece of me to my babies; the babies I longed for and prayed for, for so, so long. But I need to keep kaylee (pre-baby, kaylee), around as much as I can, because I feel so much more complete when I do.
Through a cancer diagnosis and chemo, I had to find myself again and again, multiple times. I also realized a lot about myself that I never knew existed; the same gift motherhood has given me. But one thing that bubbled up from my soul during that time, was the longing feeling to write, and that’s when the gistoflife was born.
Full circle, writing has remained the most Kaylee thing since before I can remember.
And for all those reasons, I have to keep at it, I have to keep writing and putting myself out there, and ignore the rest. Even if it’s just my family and friends that read my posts, Kaylee fought hard to pour it all out there on these pages over some of her darkest times, and she deserves it.
So friends, here’s to you, for sticking in there with me, showing me support, and continuing to show up around here 🙂
Cheers,
