In the past handful of months, Lou has turned two, Ames turned one, my six month scan was clear, we celebrated Mother’s Day, vacationed to Myrtle Beach, and battled COVID & hand, foot, and mouth. I continue to wait for things to slow down, to catch up on all the of Kaylee- things, but who I’m kidding? It won’t slow down.
Life as a working mother of two, with a house that needs countless tasks of updating and forever maintenance, the new sicknesses that are still circling from the pandemic, and the life events and celebrations that continued to be planned, I’ve finally realized; this is the life.
The chaos doesn’t need to slow down for me to savor the most special moments, & melt into our routines in ways I hadn’t before, and it’s taken me a while to figure that out.
The moments when we’re enjoying our time as a family are the ones that fill my heart when life also overwhelms me with stress, anxiety, fears, and doubts.
When stress digs her claws into my thoughts, I try to remember my Lou girl sing-songing all her made up tunes in the bathtub.
When anxiety rolls itself into my night’s sleep, I put down the ‘gram and give Ace’s soft, floppy ears a scratch or two.
When fear & doubt has me second guessing myself as a parent, I picture Ames’s toothy giggle when he was taking chomps out of his first birthday cake.
The laundry sits longer in the dyer than it ever has. There is now a light layer of sand under my toes when I walk through our kitchen from our evenings of throwing rocks after dinner. Scattered toys are constantly thrown across our living room floor. It sometimes takes me days to respond to a text message. I rarely blow out my hair or put on my face of make up.
And, I’ve honestly never felt more content.
But it’s taken a while.
I’ve had to learn who Kaylee is a mom these past couples years. Tony and I have had to learn who Tony & Kaylee are as parents, (& we’re definitely still learning). And, I’m still figuring out how to keep life in a constant balance, but in the meantime…
I’ve savoring all the twinkling moments in between the mess.
Time has already moved too fast & babies don’t keep.
I know I said I’d be back more, and I will be. I needs to write & create & allow myself to explore new paths and areas through my words.
xo my darlings,
