Welp, I’m still here.
Turns out, life with a newborn is busy – who knew? Ha, I definitely knew what we were signing up for when we were bringing a baby into the world, but I was still very clueless.
What I will tell you:
She is pretty great.
We welcomed our daughter, Lou Roselyn on the tenth of February via c-section. At my 20 week appointment, I found out Lou was a breech baby. After giving her some time to flip on her own, which obviously, she did not do, I was given the option of a couple maneuvers, [done by my doctor] to try to get her into the correct position. However, my doctor wasn’t hopeful it would work; she was snug as a bug, so I had gone ahead with a planned a c-section and saved myself the discomfort him trying to shift her around.
I wrote Lou’s birth story for myself and Tony; it was such a special day and there were so many moments I didn’t want to forget, but it’s pretty personal, and I doubt I’ll ever share all of it here.
-HOWEVER-
My favorite moment was when she came out into the world. We never found out what we were having, and Tony was going to get the privilege of announcing the baby’s sex. In her first little seconds of life we heard her screams before we saw her; they were loud and strong. Then, after her screams, was Tony’s voice, “Kayles, it’s a girl, oh my god, it’s a girl. We have a daughter and she’s so tiny.” And watching his eyes fill with tears was an instant I never, ever, ever want to forget. I hadn’t even SEEN my daughter, yet felt this love bursting between the two of us for this little human that I had never felt before.
I wasn’t able to see Lou when she was born because when you have a c-section, there’s a big curtain between you and the doctors working their magic, [thank god, actually], but the sweetest anesthesiologist held up a corner so I could get glimpses of her as the nurses checked her vitals. Thank god for nurses, by the way – but that’s a post for another day.
She’ll be two months on Friday & I can’t believe it.
I could list thousands of reasons I’m thankful for her in my life, but honestly right now, I’m the most thankful for her predictable, daily, newborn routine; eat, play, sleep. It helps me shut out the noise & anxieties that COVID-19 is bringing into our lives. Her routine helps me forget that I haven’t seen my parents or siblings in almost six weeks. It helps me forget the worry of what the rest of this year and the future holds.
It grounds me. It humbles me. It soothes me.
She’s a ray of sunshine in so many ways & I’m blessed to be able to bask in her light everyday.
Again, I’m hoping to be back more often – maybe once Lou truly gets a routine down, ha! – but for now, stay happy & healthy!
xo
