spring happenings

Happy Summer!

This week marked the official start of summer break and I couldn’t be happier. I look forward to my three month work vacation every school year, but this summer was welcomed with open arms. This past spring delivered a roller coaster of events and emotions. I’ll catch you up, but I can’t promise it’s all going to hearts and rainbows, [however, some of it definitely will be!].

To kick things off, I’m going to touch on one of the lows from this spring. I’ve been going back and fourth about sharing, because, to be honest, I’m typically a pretty private person on certain topics. But when I started this blog, the two main purposes were to connect and help others that may be experiencing similar things & to help me work through certain areas of life by writing about it.

So, here goes…

A LOSS

Soon after my last blog post in April I found out I was pregnant.

Key word in that statement being was.

Obviously we were thrilled. We told our families, we bought the baby books; we couldn’t believe things happened for us that quickly.

There were many what-if statements, mostly about how soon it happened after I stopped taking my chemo pill, but I told myself to keep my mind busy and healthy. I didn’t want it to get clouded with negativity or worry.

Unfortunately, our excitement was soon flooded with sadness.

I won’t go into detail, but I had to leave work early on a Friday afternoon to see my OB, because I knew something just wasn’t right.

My intuitions were correct. I was given the ‘miscarriage’ talk, while big ol’ crocodile tears fell down my face. I loss my little tomato seed. I would no longer have my Christmas baby, [my due date was December 27th].

On the drive home, I listened to the new album Trampled by Turtles had released that morning as loud as my wrangler could sing, [I can no longer listen to this album without getting teary eyed]. I had to call Tony and break the news – he was traveling for work until the following evening – which didn’t make this any easier for either of us.

I know the good out of all of this is: I got pregnant. I know there’s always a positive to find in a situation like this, however for the time being, I’m sick of finding the positive. I’m sick of finding the lesson or the reason why. This is something that just plain sucks.

I’m lucky I have a wonderful support system around me. My family came running to pick me up that night when I assured them I was fine. And miscarriages are actually more common in my circles of girlfriends that not, so I have plenty of wonderful people I can lean on when I need it.

I know I’m lucky in the life I have with Tony and Ace. It’s a life I absolutely love. I get great daily reminders being around the two of them, who I love so much it makes my heart hurt.

ACE TURNED 5

My little guy gets more salt and pepper around his face every day. I can’t believe he’s already FIVE.

His birthday fell a week after my miscarriage and it couldn’t have been better timing. I was able to love up on my furbaby as much as he let me 🙂 He enjoyed a meal of scrambled eggs and cherry tomatoes – his favorites. He listened as we sang happy birthday and waited patiently as I made him pose with his birthday ice cream [see below]. You can almost see his eye roll starting…

I call Ace my miracle puppy.

He lives up to that title more every day.

The afternoon I came home from the doctor’s office, with my tear stained cheeks, he greeted me at the door as calm as ever, waited until I sat down, and rested his head on my stomach.

The connection him and I have makes me forever grateful he came into my life.

A SURPRISE GIRLS TRIP

Yes, I was surprised with the most wonderful trip on the planet!

After my five year scan, my best college girlfriends, [with the help of Tony], planned the best surprise trip for all of us to celebrate life with one another. I eventually was told I was going to be jetting away with my best friend Natalie, over Memorial weekend, for a relaxing weekend away at her parents house in Georgia.

As I showed up at the airport that morning, I was surprised by two of my other girlfriends, [both at different times!], and the rest is history; more wonderful ladies showed up after we landed and we went on to have one of the best weekends, ever.

I’m SO fortunate to have such beautiful souls as my best friends. We were able to celebrate an early birthday, promotions, first vacations away from babies, and so much more. We hadn’t all been together, [besides from showers n’ such] in EIGHT years.

My girlfriend Brittany said it perfectly – it made me feel whole again.

TEACHER OF THE YEAR

It was kind of a crazy cluster of timing, because on the same Friday afternoon I had to leave early to see my OB, it was announced that I had won Teacher of the Year for the middle school.

I didn’t get a chance right then and there to let the honor sink in, but as time went on, and more people congratulated me, it started to feel a little more real.

I just finished my 8th year teaching in my school district & in no way expected to win Teacher of the Year that early in my teaching career. It’s such an honor to be voted on by your colleagues, [all of which are amazing teachers], and be recognized in a profession that there’s not much recognition.

I had to prepare and give a speech at our district staff breakfast on Wednesday morning of this week, which kept me up for nights on end – it’s my nightmare to speak in front of big groups of people. But I made it out alive, all while crying tears of happiness in thanking those who helped me become the educator I am today.

I was lucky to have my parents and sis, Alissa, there to make sure I kept my shit together 🙂

---

So, there you have it.

My spring in a nutshell.

There were a lot of tears shed, both in sadness and joy.

There were many memories to be had, ones that I will never forget.

Here’s to a summer of writing more, [I promise], a lot of music baths on the patio, getting my mind and body healthy, and snuggles with my pup.

Xo my darlings,