4 years: what i’ve learned

Last Monday marked four years.

Four years of midnight foot cramps.

Four years of tummy troubles.

Four years of digging in my purse after dinners, & discreetly chasing my little orange pill with water.

Four years of a low immune system.

Four years.

In a way, the past four years have moved at the speed of light.

On the other hand, time has also stood still.

However, I’ve learned quite a bit the past four years. I’ve learned a lot about myself, others, & just life in general.

I’m stronger than I think.

There have been times in the past four years when I’ve been really tested & I’ve surprised myself in climbing out of the darkness.

There’s ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel.

I know I’ve written about my light being suffocated & dimmed, but in all realty, there’s always a light. Even at it’s smallest, it is a light I can nurture & it can help lead me to the future.

Everybody fights a battle of their own.

Whether it’s illness, body image, infertility, divorce, etc… The past four years have humbled me. They’ve made me more compassionate to what others may be fighting behind closed doors.

True colors always end up showing themselves.

I mean this in both a negative light and a positive light. My true friends have never been truer & there are those I’ve realized, I’m better off without.

 Life’s sour lemons can still be wonderful.

I’ve alluded to this in a more recent blog post, but I’ve learned as much as I can plan or prepare, a sour lemon can come out of nowhere. However, sour lemons can be used in a great sour mix for cocktails or in best sour lemon cake mix, ever. So, in other words: see the good.

I’m looking forward to my last year. I’m praying for clean scans & smooth sailing. Even more than that, I know I need to prepare for the next battle I will face. A battle that may be my hardest yet. A battle of being off of chemo in the crucial months when cancer is most likely to return.

Looking ahead, I will need to get my mind  & body to it’s healthiest. For the most part, we do a nice a job eating well & I try to do something active everyday, but I could definitely step up my game in both areas – so stay tuned for more healthy recipes!

Tony & I have been thrown some more curve balls in the past couple weeks. It’s shown me the tenaciousness in my husband. The weeks have shown me how steady we are as a couple. I’m anxious and excited for what’s to come in our future.

I’m off to enjoy some Halo Top ice cream – birthday cake flavor to be exact – before I head to bed.

Toodles my little sprinkles, xo