it’s march 28th again

Happy Monday!

It’s been a while since my last post – I apologize. Like I’ve said from the beginning, I never want to force posts or feel like I have to write when I’m not feeling it. I want topics, thoughts, and inspirations to come naturally; which they have this afternoon.

Today, I’m enjoying my first official day of spring break. I woke up this morning, ran three miles, did 5 loads of laundry, dropped a package in the mail for my sister, Justine, went grocery shopping, & spend some time basking in the sun on the patio, [patio sitting with Ace is creeping closer by the day!]. I love feeling productive & I love being able to get this time to catch up at home.

But in other news… today’s March 28th.

The date of March 28th always drowns me with emotion. You can go back and read this post to involve yourself in why this date will never be forgotten in my memory.  Although, I’ve come a long way in the past three years.

Three years ago, I was sitting on my living room couch and my breath was taken away; I was hit with a bomb, totally unprepared & vulnerable. Three years ago I listened to my parents uncontrollably sob while each holding one of my hands. Three years ago I tried to eat pizza in front of my sisters, trying to reassure them I was strong, and being told I had cancer didn’t phase me. Three years ago, I laid in bed, tossing and turning for hours, my haunting dreams preventing any amount of sleep.

Two years ago, I woke up on vacation with some great friends. Two years ago I was completely surprised with yellow balloons, banners, and f*ck cancer chants. Two years ago I cried, hard, at the amount of compassion & thoughtfulness my friends and husband showed me. Two years ago, I laughed until my stomach hurt, I played DJ at 10am, picking party songs on our last day of vacation.

One year ago I got up and went to hot yoga. One year ago, I sat in my kitchen, drinking a green drink & wrote on my blog. One year ago, I started a countdown of my last year on chemo & thought about the trip Tony and I would take to celebrate – a trip to Europe or somewhere exotic – and plan exactly when we’d start a family. One year ago I sat at brunch with my some of my best friends & celebrated by drinking mimosas [duh] & eating yellow and pink frosted cookies.

Today, life has gone on. I edited photos from playing Easter host yesterday. I planned a Duluth visit – mid week! – to see a best friend. I drank a diet coke. Today was a day like any other day because each year I’ve grown & each year has gotten easier than the last. And that’s how I’m looking at this whole situation from here on out. March 28th is a phase, it’s the past, like any other memory.

It’s not going to haunt me anymore.

xo