keeping busy

I’ve been trying to make myself so busy I can’t think straight.

Why?

Because the busier I am, the easier it is not to think about my next scan, which is Wednesday.

The worst part about this time around is the fact that my appointment with my oncologist isn’t until Thursday. When making this appointment, November did not have any open FULL days, so they had to be split between two.

 I hate it.

Usually, the days I head down to Mayo with Tony and my mom, I am probably the worst person in the world. I’m irritable, unfriendly, and I can be downright rude. I can always hear the tone of my voice when I answer the pointless questions Tony or my mom asks me, [they aren’t pointless, it’s just how I view everything until I hear the words, “no sign of re-occurrence,”]. And I always see the look of hurt on my mom’s face after I spew out answers I always end up regretting. I’m glad her and Tony have each other on those days, because they end up carrying on conversations with one another and leave me to my own crabbiness.

I know they understand, too.

I know they get why I act the way I do.

We all have our own ways of dealing with the hours that inch by until the appointment with the doctor.

I don’t know how I am going to handle an entire evening and night’s sleep in between the labs and the results.

Until then, I’ve tried to stay busy. I visited a new house of a best friend, I attended a dinner theater play with my work colleagues, hosted a happy hour for my sand volleyball team, shopped with some girls, laughed at a comedy show, lesson planned and listed house projects, and attended a school board meeting tonight after work.

Like I said: I’ve kept busy.

Yesterday, in between lesson planning, I got lost in a new book:

I’ve been following Melissa, at The Inspired Room, for some time now. She’s amazing. This book was the perfect thing to read on my break. AND, it’s pretty.

I also worked on house projects:

I wanted to put something on this wall in our living room, but it took me a while to figure out exactly what I envisioned. Since I had been working on photography skills this fall, I thought I’d try to be artsy. I also love the subject of the photos 🙂 I mean, who doesn’t??

Visitors will probably think I’m a crazy dog lady, but that’s okay. Maybe someday, it will be children.

So now, here I am, tucked in bed watching the Wolves game, trying to ignore my anxious belly, and hoping for a good night’s rest.

Night, night my daisies. xo